Sunday, December 27, 2009


Sometimes I get really depressed for no apparent reason.  I seem to have been in a funk for the last day and a half or so.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been running, and I have been way overindulging in the holiday treats, and I basically hate my body right now.  But it is more than just that.  I can't put my finger on exactly what it is.  There are a number of things that I could blame it on....improper nutrition, lack of exercise, being unemployed, sun deprived, worried about our finances, and on and on and on.  But, I don't want to be a slave to my circumstances.  I want to be able to feel joy regardless of the situation.  After all, isn't that one of the perks of Christianity?  Aren't we supposed to rejoice in our suffering?  And I can't even say that I am really suffering.  I'm really not feeling much of anything and that is the problem.  I'm apathetic.  I don't want to be apathetic.  I think I would rather be sad.  I am going to work on fixing this.  Tomorrow I am going to run.  Three miles should help my demeanor.  It should help with my general outlook.  And if it doesn't, I'm going to do something else.  I can't get stuck in a funk....especially when there is a lot of winter ahead of me; and it has the power to be quite depressing.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

Christmas was pretty lame in our house this year.  I am at work for the whole day.  And, since I am unemployed, and have been for a few months, we didn't have the money to get each other anything.  Of course, the Son still gets spoiled from the grandparents; and we are so happy for him.  We will need to stock up on batteries in the very near future.

It seems that we never get to really have a good Christmas.  Not that I need a ton of gifts, but I do like giving them to other people.  And, I love to see my dear Husband's face when he opens a gift that he has really been hoping to get.  This is our 5th Christmas as a married couple, and I still think that the ones we had when we were dating, were much better.  Sometimes being an adult with 'real' responsibilities just isn't much fun.  I hate having to choose bills over presents.

And we always say that we will never have another lame Christmas, but somehow the next one is just as disappointing as the last.  We are really so fortunate to have a Gift that is more important that any present that could be unwrapped under the tree.  Without Jesus, our lame Christmas celebration would be pretty depressing.  So, even though the weather kept us from getting to church last night, we are so blessed to be able to celebrate our Savior's birth this Christmas.  And whether or not we have a bunch of gifts to open next year, we will keep celebrating the best gift ever given.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What to do next?

As graduation looms ahead of me (tomorrow) I am pondering my next move.  I feel like I am part of some cosmic chess game.  My next move could have ramifications years from now.  I know that I really want to go to school to be a Physician's Assistant.  But I just don't see how the Husband will ever be okay with us moving so that I can go to school.  I don't think he understands my need to continue to better myself.  And the more I learn about medicine and how to care for people, the more I feel called to help people.  Granted, I wish I had been this driven 10 years ago, but God had another plan for that part of my life.  And His plan for this part of my life is to continue in my schooling and be a tool that He can use for healing.

I met with an admissions counselor at NTC today and discussed the options that are available to me.  I am sadly and very reluctantly putting my dreams of being a Physician's Assistant away.  :-(  I had the counselor put me on the waiting list for the nursing program.  It is about a 2 year wait, which I hate, but it will give me some time to find a job as an MA and hopefully save up some money to pay for the next set of classes without having to ask for help from my dad.

I'm also looking at taking the EMT Basic class.  That way I could work alongside the paramedics and really get some hands-on experience.  I don't relish the idea of being jolted from a sound slumber to race off to a call, but I really feel like I am called to help people and this is one way that I can do it.

While I'm waiting for the nursing program to open up, I have to complete a CNA course.  It shouldn't be that difficult, considering all the work that I did getting my MA degree.  The problem is going to be finding the time to complete the course.  They offer it in Medford, but it is during the day; which won't work if I (ever) have a job.  I could take it in Wausau, but that makes no sense unless I'm working over there.  I'll have to look into what they offer in Marshfield.

I really wish there was some way to clone myself so that I could do all the things I want to do and no one would feel neglected.  I don't want to miss the time away from my family, but I have never felt God's calling in my life until now and I would hate to miss out on what He has planned for me. 

ARGH!!!  What a dilemma! 

Friday, December 11, 2009

Lots of layers

I have a 5K tomorrow morning and I was laying out my clothes this afternoon.  That way, I don't have to run all over in the morning to get myself ready.  Here is what I wear to run in when the race-time temp is below 20 degrees....

It is a TON of layers...but how else am I going to stay warm. 

First layer is the sports bra, thigh-high socks and a pair of ankle socks.  I wear 2 pair because the thigh-high ones aren't very thick.

Second layer is a set of cuddleduds....pants and a tank top.

Third layer is my thin, long sleeve tee and a pair of black running tights.  They aren't technical running tights, and I would really like a tighter, thinner pair; but these will work for now.

Fourth layer is a dry-fit tee and a pair of shorts with pockets.  The pockets are key in the outer layer so that I can keep my chapstick and a piece of gum at the ready.  My ipod and car key goes in my Spi-Belt.

The outer layer consists of my NEDA hoodie (that can be taken off and tied around my waist if I get too warm), Green Bay Packer stocking cap, green 'neck-gizer,' gloves and my shoes.  The gloves usually come off at some point and end up in the pocket of my hoodie.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

2 out of 3

When I was signing up for races in November and December, I neglected to realize that I would have 3 races in 3 consecutive weekends.  I just thought....2 races in November and 2 races in December.

Today was the Thermal 3 race in Chippewa Falls.  It was a 3 mile race; not a 5K.  The weather was in the 20s at the start of the race.  I hate going to races alone because I don't get any pictures of me running.  So, I'll just have to post the one of last week's Noodleini race in De Pere.

Last week was warmer.  It was quite chilly today.  There were about 200 other crazy people who were braving the frigid temps.  The race started at a church, and they had the building open so people could pick up their race packets and stay warm before the start.  I showed up about an hour before race time.  There was really convenient parking and there were tables set up and a big pot of coffee!!  It was a very well organized race.

I was really amazed at the people who were running the Frigid 8 mile race.  I don't think it could have put in that type of mileage on such a cold day.  The start was nothing special.  Just a guy with a megaphone and a siren.  We were off.  The course was an out-and-back.  Not my favorite.  However, I do like seeing the leaders coming back.  It is inspiring to watch the good runners.

I heard my split at the first mile; 9:14.  Not bad.  I knew I wanted to finish in under 30:00.  I haven't really been able to do better than 10:00-minute miles lately.  I met my goal:  29:42.  I immediately went inside to warm up.  Then I grabbed my change of clothes from my car.  One thing I learned from last week's race is that you don't want to be stuck in sweaty clothes when it is 20 degrees outside.  I changed quickly and headed home.  As I was leaving the 8 mile finishers were coming in.  These guys were impressive.  I guess if I hope to run a half marathon someday, I will need to realize that 8 miles isn't that long.