Wednesday, January 6, 2010


There are so many days when I just don't feel fit to be a parent.  How is it possible that God has entrusted me with an impressionable child to mold and teach and guide?  I don't know anything about taking care of this little person.  Especially now that he is becoming more independent and opinionated.  I just want to tell him that I know the best way to do things and that he needs to listen to me.  I am doing this for his own good.  Why can't he just understand that?  Why can't God give me the patience to deal with my son?

Ouch!  I just got convicted.  How many times has God tried to tell me the best way to do things and I haven't listened?  How many times have my independence and opinions gotten me in trouble?  How many times have I gotten angry with God and stomped off to do things my way?  How is it possible that God has the patience to deal with me?  And yet, He still loves me and cares for me and looks after me.  Even when I act like a spoiled brat.

Sometimes I hate parenting.  And I hate it even more when I realize things like this.  I'm just going to go and nurse the horrendous guilt I feel for getting frustrated with Jaden.

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