I can't stop stuffing food in my face today. I don't know what it is. I'd like to say that I have been working out so hard that my body is refueling, but I know that isn't true. It is more due to the fact that I am stuck at work, I'm tired, and I'm bored. And there is really good banana nut bread on the counter. But that doesn't mean that I needed to eat half the loaf. And a huge bowl of banana/peach oatmeal. And a handful of oreos. And a bunch of Giradelli chocolate squares. I don't think that I will need to eat dinner tonight. I'm sure that I will have plenty of energy to complete my 4 miles tonight. Naturally, I will still have to make dinner for the boys.
I've often wondered if my time of severely restricting my caloric intake has come back to bite me in the ass. I wonder if my body is still unsure that it will get enough food on a regular basis and instead of listening to hunger and fullness cues, it causes me to binge far too frequently. I know that there is a staggering statistic of recovering anorexics relapsing into bulimia. I refuse to let that happen to me, but I really wish that I could control my seemingly uncontrolable urges to binge.