Saturday, February 27, 2010

Stop eating

I can't stop stuffing food in  my face today.  I don't know what it is.  I'd like to say that I have been working out so hard that my body is refueling, but I know that isn't true.  It is more due to the fact that I am stuck at work, I'm tired, and I'm bored.  And there is really good banana nut bread on the counter.  But that doesn't mean that I needed to eat half the loaf.  And a huge bowl of banana/peach oatmeal.  And a handful of oreos.  And a bunch of Giradelli chocolate squares.  I don't think that I will need to eat dinner tonight.  I'm sure that I will have plenty of energy to complete my 4 miles tonight.  Naturally, I will still have to make dinner for the boys.

I've often wondered if my time of severely restricting my caloric intake has come back to bite me in the ass.  I wonder if my body is still unsure that it will get enough food on a regular basis and instead of listening to hunger and fullness cues, it causes me to binge far too frequently.  I know that there is a staggering statistic of recovering anorexics relapsing into bulimia.  I refuse to let that happen to me, but I really wish that I could control my seemingly uncontrolable urges to binge.

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